Top Three Online Christian Dating Tips
I met my wife on the Web Net, as I like to call it, and, thanks to an online Christian dating site, she and I have been married for almost 10 years. We even have a precious little blue-eyed daughter who, as she fast approaches two, likes to stomp around the house in rain boots with a teddy bar in one hand and her sippy cup in the other, all the while yelling “Beebo! Beebo!” at the top of her lungs like the Minions from Despicable Me.
Sounds awesome, doesn’t it?
Well, if you too would like to find your mate and have a lovely little Minion for a kid, then give online Christian dating a try. I’ll be frank though; I met my wife ages ago in 2003 when Mark Zuckerberg was still tinkering with “The Facebook” — as he first called it — in his Harvard dorm room. Those were the days when websites still looked like 8-bit Nintendo games, when Coldplay was a new, edgy “indie” band, and when many folks still had modems through the phone line that sounded like a computerized Nazgul screeching from Mordor whenever you logged in.
Back in those glorious days, despite having to pedal on a stationary bike to power up my giant room-sized computer before surfing online dating sites, I did learn a few things. I mean, hey, I met my wife. I won the prize and made it to the finish line. I must have been doing something right. Right? Or maybe my poor wife just felt sorry for me.
Regardless, to aid you in your online quest of Christian dating awesomeness, here are three extremely serious, somber, no-smiling-allowed tips:
1. Be Confident (But Honest)
You begin creating your online profile. You’re trying to be as honest as possible. You’re afraid of sounding arrogant. Here’s a snapshot of what you’ve written so far for the profile questionnaire:
If you could describe yourself in one word, what word would you choose?
“Unobjectionable.”
What is your best feature?
“Not applicable.”
Actually, these answers were Stewart’s from the TV show The Big Bang Theory, and if you approach your profile in the same way, you just might have a self-confidence problem like him. Don’t be afraid to let people in on the good things that God has created in you. Just don’t be dishonest or overly enthralled with yourself. If you lie and say you love skydiving — and then forget — months later after you meet and begin dating someone, things might get a little interesting when your beau shows up at your door with a parachute in one hand and a skydiving helmet in the other, followed by, “Surprise! We’re going on a jump this afternoon!” My advice in that situation? Distract her with a sudden outburst of spontaneous breakdancing, and then RUN.
2. List the Things You Love, Not the Things You Hate
I once read a profile that went something like this:
Favorite Sport: “I hate soccer. So, if you’re, like, even thinking about wanting to date me, and you like soccer, then just forget it because if God really wanted us to play soccer then why do we have arms? Seriously, all they do is run back and forth on a field the size of an airport tarmac without ever scoring anything. We might as well ditch the soccer ball and just pay to watch a bunch of sweaty guys run sprints on a field all day while bumping into each other and putting on a Shakespearean performance of woe at the slightest appearance of injury.”
In my dating profile, I was incredibly deep. When asked about my favorite sport, I wrote:
“Baseball.”
And yet, if I had not written that one fact, I might never have gotten married or had the wonderful little daughter I have today. The little eight-letter word “baseball” was the commonality that gave my wife the courage to send me a personal message after seeing my profile. We both liked baseball. It was a comfortable bridge for her to cross. If I had gone on a rant about sports I hated, she might not have felt comfortable crossing that bridge to talk to me.
3. The Future is Now: Don’t Talk About Exes
Just don’t. Please. Just don’t do it. In fact, before you sign up for online dating, try to find one of the memory erasing devices shown in the films Men in Black. Track down Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones to their houses if you have to. Do whatever it takes to wipe away any memory of past baggage. Of course, we know it’s impossible to do that, but when you’re online meeting new people, pretend that it is possible. Pretend that you’ve never dated anyone in the whole world. Dragging around your baggage — even if it’s expensive, fancy baggage from Louis Vuitton — is an extremely bad idea.
I’d like to close this article with a bonus tip: check out the online dating guide at ChristianMingle.com. Although affiliate linking in blogs is a culturally accepted practice, this is actually not an affiliate link. ChristianMingle has some excellent info.
May God bless your quest through the ever-enchanted land of Christian dating!
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